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How You see You (versus how others see you)

January 26, 2012

Somebody told me recently that I was their role model.  It was in a specific context that I won’t bore you with but it kind of threw me a bit.  Although I would like to add, in case the person who said it is reading, that I am grateful they shared what they felt and it did make my day.   I had been feeling not like the world’s greatest success that day with my foot hurting probably from having over-exercised, my chest a bit asthmatically dodgy, my hair in bad hair day mode and rushing trying to get a lot of things done in a fairly haphazard manner despite all the cool organisational tools I have at my disposal.

I was reminded that nobody’s eyes are more critical than our own and that while we’re pondering on our perceived failings others are seeing the good in us that it would do US good to notice as well.

This goes for physical plusses and imperfections as much as it does for strengths and weaknesses of character.   Although I have no desire to jump into bed with the overwhelming majority of people I know, I could point out for just about everyone I know some ways in which they’re sexy (or if that word doesn’t suit – ways in which they look or carry themselves that are appealing).  And yet if I asked people to describe their bodies and their characters or even just tell me how they felt about who they were, I bet I’d hear a load of negative and very little positive.

I’m guilty of it myself – I’m too this or too that, must do better.   Like a load of other people I’ve had negative external voices telling me some of this stuff over the years but luckily these have been countered by the words of people who saw the more positive things and were happy to tell me them.  People who will actually go out of their way to make a negative comment about someone else’s appearance or behaviour are, I find, often insecure about their own.   Of course if I’ve turned up to a posh dinner party in baggy t-shirt or made the faux-est of pas OR I keep doing something that annoys someone then yes, I expect to be called on it.   However, for completely unnecessary criticism I may use the following reply in future: “I believe you are mistaken; I am, in fact, quite wonderful” 🙂

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From → Self-Improvement

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