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Large Discoveries

June 27, 2011

Owing to current circumstances, I’ve temporarily put away the hammer I have been known to use to beat myself up over my weight also locked my healthy eating conscience personification in a sound-proof closet.  In other words… I really have enough (expletive removed as I’m trying to be nice) to deal with right now.  Things will improve in time and I’ll report back when they have.

Not paying maximum attention to food and workouts does not leave me with much to blog about (least not here anyways) but I would like to share a few observations I’ve made about what it’s like to be about a stone heavier than I’m used to.

Observation #1: “I BEG your pardon?!”
I was in a restaurant last night.  Nice place, cheap enough and very friendly.  Ok, Mexican and English food cooked and served by Japanese people, musical accompaniment included ‘Hotel California’ in Spanish.  My main course choice came with the option of having chips or potato wedges plus steamed veg.  The person who took my order didn’t ask which of these I wanted; she just said ‘with salad?’.  And I thought…. OMG you think I shouldn’t be eating chips or potato wedges!?  So yeah – paranoia.

I recall some years back when I was visiting a hospital (for work purposes) and went to their cafeteria.  I asked if a particular pasta thing on the menu could be served without cheese and apparently it could.  Then I asked to also buy a bag of crisps.  The person serving me informed me I shouldn’t be eating crisps if I was on a diet.  After pondering several ways of killing her I politely replied that I wasn’t on a diet but that I was asthmatic and that cow cheese was a trigger and I liked being able to breathe.

There have been other ‘I beg your pardon’ moments throughout, almost regardless of my size.  When I’ve been skinnier it has been ‘wow, you look great’ which is always nice to hear regardless of anything but then, after I’d said ‘I’ve been ill, that’s why I’ve lost weight’ they’ve been followed sometimes with ‘well don’t put it back on!’.  When I’ve been bigger I’ve been asked ‘Are you pregnant?’ or even just told ‘Congratulations!’ without any irony and even (from a male colleague at least twice  my size) ‘what’s happened to you? You look really fat now!’

I resent people feeling entitled to make judgemental comments like they have some ownership or say in my body and what I choose to do with it.  If I ask for an honest opinion then please do let fly but if I haven’t brought it up at all then why should they?

Observation #2: The thigh rubbing thing
Get naked and close your legs.  No, I really did mean that second bit, bear with me.  Now look down at your thighs.  Is there a gap between them?  Are they lightly touching or are they squashed together?

Unless you walk like John Wayne, if you’re bigger then your thighs rub together.  This also happens to bodybuilders who overdo the steroids.  Plus heat and perspiration equals yeowch.

It’s observation #2 that’s going to be keeping me eating no more than a reasonable amount for the next few weeks.  After that I’ll settle into a schedule and I can build in exercise and healthy eating… oh, and having a kitchen again to do healthy cooking in, which is going to rock!

Ok, loves, that’s all for now.  I’ll be back soon xxx


From → Body Image

  1. Taking a break from stuff is good. Over the last 3 years or so I’ve been putting effort into losing weight/getting fitter/changing my relationship with food. I haven’t done it consistently all of the time; at difficult times, my main goal is *survival* or keeping on keeping on.

    Go you!

    People think they have a right to critique one’s body. I used to have difficulties coping with all the compliments after I lost a load of weight – they made me feel really self-conscious.

  2. Thank you for comment. I’ve found the stuff you write about eating to be really helpful so thank you also for sharing that. 🙂

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